Today I had somewhere to be.
Big Guy is in choir at school and he asked me to come to chapel today to see him sing. Even though it was an informal performance, it was going to be the choir’s first of the year. I told him I didn’t think I could make it because of a standing appointment. My heart ached as I told him, but he smiled brightly and said, “That’s okay mom. There’s always next time.” He is such a cool kid.
I had somewhere to be.
I stopped by my parents’ house this morning after dropping the kids at school and casually mentioned that because of my appointment I would be missing Big Guy’s choir performance. They told me to skip the appointment and watch him perform. I could catch up with what I was missing at the appointment. I wouldn’t be able to do the same with the performance. Their nudge was all I needed.
I made it to the school just as the kids were filing into the chapel. I spotted Big Guy right away. He did not see me. I took my place in the back of the room. There were two other mothers there; mothers of older kids. We smiled at each other and returned our gazes to our children. I saw Big Guy look toward the door. There was an expression on his face that wasn’t exactly disappointed. It was somehow hopeful, yet maybe a little bit deflated. Then he turned slightly and our eyes met. There was an expression that crossed his face, an expression that I know is only for me. It is the same expression he has when he scores a goal in soccer and glances over to see if I noticed, if I was watching his moment of triumph. This kid manages to make my day every single day of the year but today I made his and all I had to do was show up. His expression said it all. It broke my heart because I could have missed it. I almost missed it. I had somewhere to be.
Moments like this remind me of how precious life is and how quickly it passes by. Just yesterday he was this tiny little wonder that I would gaze at for hours, amazed that he was mine and now he is quickly becoming a wonderful young man who is a joy to everyone he encounters. No one tells you how fast it goes by, or they do and you don’t listen. Being a mom has humbled me in ways I could never have imagined. Just today I was reminded that the things I do for myself will never be as vital as the things I do for my children; especially those things that show them how important they are to me.
Today I had somewhere to be: In chapel, watching my kid sing.